I am at a crossroad
And I know not which way to go
I have waited long for this
And it is finally here
But the cost of this gift is too high for me to pay
For I know the Lord
The Lord will frown upon the high cost of this gift
How then do I do it?
Should I let go and start over again?
Start again! The mere thought scares me
At what age, Soul Sister, will I start again?
My flower isn’t blooming so much
While the brightness was flickering,
He saw me and declared his affection
Yes, affection towards the one who taught she would never have a man of her own.
The going was good, and the good became blissful
Then came the proposal.
Oh, Soul Sister, it’s a ring!
I sang my yes like the cuckoo bird.
But his condition dampened my elated spirit.
Give me a baby first he told me with a straight face
A baby? I left the ring hanging in my finger in shock.
My confusion was communicated to him through my look
For he said, smiling, let a baby grow in your womb for me
Then I’ll walk you down the aisle as a proud husband and father.
The Lord’s words on defiling the bed flew into my head.
I shook my head in disagreement
It’s our tradition, he informed me
My mother will never accept you without a positive result. His voice was sad.
But we belong to the Lord; Christians we are, I tried to reason with him
His eyes left mine. Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s so says the good book.
Appease Christianity and tradition, even the Lord understands, he said.
My objections fired at him like AK47
His eyes darkened like the clouds in an African thunderstorm
That is my stand, his voice thundered. I can’t compromise.
The burden of loneliness came upon me like a thick blanket.
I want to be married
I want my own man
So I promised to think and pray about it.
But, Soul Sister, what do I pray about?
What do I speak in the Lord’s ears?
What answer should I expect?