We’re back! Let’s continue with the our love triangle. Happy Reading!
Episode Eleven
The week after Ken’s meeting with Tenisha crawled slowly. It was the Friday of the following week and he still couldn’t figure out what to do with Tenisha or his growing feelings for Nimi. He was also concerned about Laye seeing him with Tenisha, but she seemed to be handling it maturely. She hadn’t said a word about it to him and he was sure she hadn’t told Nimi or else she would have said something to him. The only thing that gave him the chills about Laye keeping their chance meeting a secret was the way she looked at him each time their eyes met or they passed each other in the hallway. He had lost count of the times she winked at him and sent flirtatious smiles his way when she thought no one was watching. That made his concentration horrible. Twice during the morning briefing that week, he had forgotten what he was supposed to say and given an assignment to the wrong team. He couldn’t meet Nimi’s eyes when the MD drew his attention to this.
He winced at the thought. This was all Tenisha’s fault and Laye’s, who thought everything was funny. He crumbled the file in his hand and dumped it in the wastebasket close to his desk. His face was drawn in a hard line. The work he had wrongly assigned had been poorly done and it was totally his fault. If he had not given wrong information, the team would have done much better. Everything seemed to be working against him. He held his head in his arms and bit his lips to keep from screaming out his frustration.
Lately, since the return of Tenisha, he had been thinking more about screaming. Tenisha filled his every thought in a bad way. From the moment they met in Bliss Taste and Bite, she seemed to have gotten a certain power and she exerted it over him. Once she mentioned coming over to his house or his place of work he would find himself sweating and shaking. Instead of having her create a scene in his house or the office, he would rather meet up with her. That had led to meeting her thrice in the course of the week after their initial meeting.
Each time they met she was more determined to have him back and she did so with the whole of her might. Her dressing, her facial expressions, and her body language were all geared towards seducing him. The Ken he was before would have been up for it, but that Ken died months ago and he didn’t dare resurrect him. His greatest fear, however, was becoming a double of himself. He couldn’t afford to be carried away by Tenisha’s strong advances. He also couldn’t share this with anyone. His only weapon was prayer.
And he had been praying. He would keep praying, even though guilt kept rising within him. This was one storm he had to overcome. A lot depended on him overcoming. One of such was his growing feelings for Nimi. He had to put an end to what Tenisha represented in his life so he could be free of his horrible past. If he wanted to be with Nimi, then he had to be free and open for her. She didn’t deserve him bringing along a baggage into something new.
He shook his head and smiled. What was he even thinking? He hadn’t even told Nimi anything and he had started analysing what it would be with her.
‘Ah,’ he called out, stretching. He moved back to his desk and placed his hand on his chair. He made to pull it out but stopped when he heard a slight knock on the door and the doorknob turning. He straightened and waited for who was coming in. He expected his secretary but Nimi walked in.
His knees buckled under him when his eyes rested on her. He quickly grabbed the chair before him to steady himself. It wasn’t the first time she was walking into his office without his secretary alerting him since he had instructed her to grant Nimi access to his office whenever she came to see him. However, it was the first time he was caught off-guard. While he was thinking about her and his feelings for her, and lamenting Tenisha’s appearance, she showed up. He felt his heart thumping.
She came closer and flashed the smile that always melted his heart. “Hi, Ken.” She greeted softly. “What’s up?”
Ken took a deep breath and released it to calm his nerves. He replied her smile with a bright one too. Gone was the troubling thoughts of Tenisha. All he could see was beautiful Nimi looking all angelic in a creamy turtleneck gown suit. She had a red scarf around her neck with matching red shoes. Her hair was curled and combed to the right side of her face. He swallowed. The thumping of his heart was no longer out of fear. Excitement took the place of fear.
“Wow! Nimi, you look so beautiful.” He gushed.
Nimi laughed a little. “Thank you, kind sir.” She said curtsying. She stepped forward and took a seat.
Ken did the same. “I must have closed my eyes during briefing this morning.” He joked.
“Nah, you were busy screaming the head off Karibo’s team for their poor work.” She responded, her eyes taking a serious glint.
Ken winced. “It was that bad, right?”
Nimi nodded. “Very.” She said.
Ken rubbed his palms together and looked away. “You blame me too, right.” He said in a small voice.
Nimi sat forward and touched his entwined palms on the table. “I don’t blame you. I just feel something is not right.” Her voice softened reflecting her concern as she spoke. “Maybe you’re stressed and you need to rest. Maybe you are taking things too hard. You’re trying so hard to get it right.”
A line appeared between Ken’s brows. How I wish it was that easy, he thought within. He looked at her. “I’m trying to avoid a disaster.” He simply said.
Nimi leaned back in her chair, releasing his hands. “It wouldn’t be a disaster if you allow others to help with it. The way we did with the Seasoning Company account and now we await the good news.” She countered.
Ken shook his head. “No, some things are better done alone. Alone with God in heaven.”
At that Nimi threw her hands up. “Well, if the matter is with the big guy up there,” she raised a small finger to the ceiling, “then, I have nothing to say. I just want you to be fine.”
His expression dulled at her offhand reference to God. If she felt that way towards God, why was he so drawn to her then? Why was he almost spilling his guts about his feelings and his troubles to her? What kind of relationship would they have? Maybe she would take him more seriously if he just told her how being friends with her was making him feel. He shook his head. A little while, Ken, a little while.
“You should make peace with God.” He told her, eyes fixed on her.
A look he guessed was sorrow marked her face. Her smile from before left her lips and she looked away from him. “I’m at peace with God.” She replied fingering the company’s wristband on her wrist.
“Are you sure? You know you can trust me right, Nimi.” He pressed.
She kept her eyes firmly away from him. “I know.”
“Then why won’t you talk to me? You mean a lot to me, Nimi.” He said in a near whisper.
She turned back to him, questions in her eyes.
He cleared his throat, got up from his chair and came to stand before her. “You’re more than a friend to me I must confess. I really want to share your burden. I really want to be happy with you.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “What I just said is straight from my heart.”
As the seconds ticked after his bombshell, he remained where he was in front of Nimi watching the different emotions flicker through her face like a child’s painting. He felt her heartbeat on the inside of his palm as a rumbling thunder. Regret gnawed at him then. He should have waited as he had always told himself. What made him spill his guts to her like that, catching her off-guard? He still had Tenisha to worry about and now he was about to lose the friendship that gladdened his heart.
He drew back his hand from her shoulder and placed it on the table behind him. He drew a deep breath and spoke up when she kept mute. “I’m sorry if I scared you. I didn’t mean to. I just couldn’t keep it any longer. Please bear with me.” His explanation was lame and he knew it –especially when Nimi jumped off the chair she was seated. A look of realization outlined her features.
“I’m sorry too.” She said. He stretched his hand to hold her but she moved back and placed a hand over her mouth. With a soft gasp, she fled the office. He took two steps after her but stopped himself. They were still in the office. That wouldn’t change because he loved Nimi.
And his true feeling was out.
*************
Nimi ran down the corridor and didn’t mind the strange looks she got from colleagues and teammates. All she wanted to do was to get away from what she had dreaded for a while; what she had known for a while but had no courage to admit. If she was truthful she would even admit that she had yearned for it. She had wanted it badly, so bad like a child reaching for a cone of ice-cream.
She cornered at the end of the hallway and dived into the Ladies. Two ladies from Account department stood in front of the mirror with powder brushes and smiles that told the tale of gossipping than powdering. Caught in the act, they fell silent the moment she entered and went back to actually powdering their faces.
Nimi didn’t mind them. She had no business with them just as they had none with her. She wasn’t even close to them and so couldn’t be bothered by what they were discussing or her dishevelled state. Her curls were flying all over and her scarf had shifted base to the back of her neck. She met the eyes of one in the mirror and adjusted her scarf first. They soon packed up and left her alone. The moment the door closed behind them, Nimi fell forward, placing her crown on the mirror.
“Oh, Nimi, what have you gotten yourself into?” She lamented. She placed a hand over her heart. “This heart is beating so fast because of your foolishness. How could you allow things get to this extent? Oh, why didn’t you stop it?” She drew herself from the mirror and pressed a finger to her reflection. “You want to be like your sister, right? You want what your friend wants?” She snarled, eyes flashing like a hot coal. The next second she sobered. “But he chose you and your heart responded. There’s no crime here. You are not your sister. You will never be her. Never!” She screamed and broke into sobs. She held the sink and went down gradually still sobbing until her backside connected with the cold tiled floor.
Right there she wept for what she felt for Ken and what would happen to her friendship with Laye when everything came out. She wept for fear of being labelled her sister. She wept for her lack of willpower to open up to Laye about her feelings for Ken too. Feelings she could no longer hide and wanted to explore as much as he wanted to too –now that he had admitted it too.
Hands drew her slouched body up and circled her in a bear hug. Her chin rested on the shoulder and she knew who it was. Ela was at the right place at the right time. Just when she needed to talk and she needed some talking to.
“It’s Okay, Nimi, all will be well,” Ela said in a soothing voice that warmed the coldness in her heart.
Nimi gave a strong nod as if her life depended on it. She had to believe that all would be well. She washed her face at Ela’s instruction and applied a little powder that Ela provided to her face.
“Much as this place seem private for this kind of things, it’s still the toilet and we had better leave. I got held up in here when those two drama queens came and won’t stop talking about the chief accountant’s son.” She smiled. “All the same thank God I was here when you came in Nimi.” She added.
Nimi nodded. She didn’t trust her voice yet to give a response.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Ela asked.
Yet another nod.
“I know just the right place. Let’s go.”
Ela led them to the office of one of the Creative Directors. He was on leave and Ela had the key to his office. They soon sat opposite each other.
Ela waited. Nimi cleared her throat and what her meltdown in the Ladies was all about came tumbling out. She told it right from Raymond. She included her sister.
“That’s all,” she said when she ended the long story of what her life had become.
Ela heaved a deep sigh. “Some secrets are meant to be told and not kept to avert future disaster. Is it not better Laye knows everything now and especially from you than for her to find out later or through the grapevine in this office? I need not tell you what would happen then. Do the right thing, Nimi.” she advised.
Nimi rubbed her forehead, eyes shut tightly. “I fear Laye’s reaction.”
Ela touched her arm. “Talk to God about it. Pray, Nimi.”
Nimi bit her lower lip fighting back another wave of tears. Would God listen? She had fought him for a long time now. Why would He listen to someone like her? She shook her head.
Ela drew closer to her. “Nimi, when we turn back to God we find out He has been looking at us all the while. We are the ones who move away from Him. It’s time to go back home, Nimi.”
A tear fell on her cheek. “But how do I get over the fact that God allowed His so-called children to treat us badly? How come He never for once rebuked them for the way they judged and condemned us? I mean He’s supposed to be a father to us all and not to a few who claim to be so perfect.” She rasped, her sobs cracking her voice.
“You know, Nimi, man’s judgement or condemnation doesn’t mirror God’s heart towards the condemned or judged. I won’t go into who is to blame and who is not to. Neither will I talk about the right or wrong approach of the church, but I’ll state one clear fact: God will not judge us on that last day based on any man’s misdoing towards us; He would judge us for our own misdoing. If it is so then it is better to leave every man to his conscience and to God, the righteous God.
I know it could be difficult sometimes when the people who hurt you are of the household of faith but be strong and courageous. Let God guide your heart and grant you wisdom to deal with them. Remember right on the cross, Jesus prayed for those who crucified him. Just like Jesus, forgive those who hurt in the church for they do not know what they’re doing.”
She held Nimi hands. “Never let any man’s action or reaction cause you your relationship with God. You will be miserable if you allow that happened just like you are now. God loves you, Nimi, and He has no business with how some people in the church see your family. I’m sure not everyone in the church behaved badly towards your family.”
Nimi gave a small nod biting back more tears. The wall she had built around her heart against God and the church was cracking and she liked it. For a long time, she had bottled up her anger and had carried it like a cross on her neck. She had allowed it fuel her hatred towards the church council but Ela’s soothing words cracked that hatred and anger she wore like a shield and she liked it. She liked the freedom she could feel in her heart. She liked the feeling of letting go. While it would take a total crumbling for her to be completely freed she knew Ela had set her on the right path and with a friend like her she was sure all would turn out well.
She sniffled a little then wipe her face with the back of her hand. “You know my mom remained in that church and she has friends. The times I care to listen to her talk about the church she would always let me know we were always asked after in church. She would tell me about those who send their greetings, but my response to all these had always been suspicious. I read meanings into their greetings and what I now see as innocent questions about our welfare. Ela, this thing has been eaten me up for a long time, I hope you will help me. I really want to let go. I really want to see my dad happy again and I really want our family to come back to the way we were before.”
Ela flashed a bright smile. “I’m so happy you made this decision. God will help you and see you through. However, it’s important for you to forgive your sister. She made a mistake. What she did was wrong and it hurt your family but please, forgive her. Soften your heart towards her and allow her to come back home. See her as the prodigal daughter and welcome her as the father of the prodigal son did.”
Doubt crossed Nimi’s face. “But what about my father?” She asked.
Ela patted her shoulder. “Just do your part first and let God take care of the rest. Let us pray.”
As Ela’s sonorous voice lifted to the heavens with words of prayers, fresh tears spilled down Nimi’s cheeks but this time, they weren’t tears of pain, anger, hurt, hatred and fear; they were tears of sweet relief. God was mending her broken spirit.
*****************
When Ken didn’t hear anything from Nimi for the rest of that day at work, he prepared himself for the worst. He prepared his heart towards losing a friend who was special to him. He blamed himself for it. He should have waited. He should have sorted out Tenisha’s issue first before making a move with Nimi but something had pushed him from within. Looking at her that morning with all the concern she felt for him showing, he had seen a worthy partner and so he had taken the leap.
His heart bled when he knew he had lost her and that had given him the courage to snap at Tenisha and prayed like he hadn’t since Tenisha’s arrival. So he was totally shocked when she sent him a text some minutes after seven and suggested they meet. His mind went to restaurants around but fear of running into Tenisha made him suggest his house, and she agreed.
Now they sat together at his dining, a bottle of malt and a glass cup before her, pouring out their hearts. In truth, Nimi was the only one doing the pouring as she told him everything about her family, relationship with God and Raymond. While she talked about the encounter she had with God that day through Ela, he felt stirred in the spirit to also open up to her about Tenisha. He waited for an opening but got none. Nimi kept talking and the burden increased within him. When she finally paused to take a sip of her drink, he quickly spoke up.
“I have something to say.” He said.
Nimi dropped the glass on the table. “Let me just conclude, Ken.” She replied. “When you confessed your feelings this morning, I was not ready. A lot went through my mind at that moment and I left. I have told you about it all now. I feel fresh but I know there would be challenges and all, but if you’re by my side and God on our sides, a lot will be worth it. So I…” She paused for effect, the corner of her lips lifted in a smile.
Ken stretched his neck and waited for the conclusion.
“So I confess my feelings for you also, and I accept you with the whole of my heart.”
Before she ended her statement, Ken was out of his chair, his arms wrapped around her. Her last words were muffled into his chest. He didn’t mind he had gotten his answer. He whispered promises to her and assured her of a great time together. They spent the rest of the time reminiscing about their meeting and how it all started.
Nimi left a little past nine leaving Ken excited beyond words. It was when he knelt down to say his night prayers that he remembered that he had not told Nimi about Tenisha.
Redeeming Love Letters 